A Reddit user shared a story about refusing to let her two daughters go on a trip the week before her wedding.
No Children Invited
The OP has two daughters, aged 16 and 14, from another marriage. She is getting married in a few months and has already started planning for the wedding. She asked her 16 year-old-daughter to help with the decorations.
The wedding will be child-free, meaning the two daughters were not invited to their mother’s wedding.
Her ex-husband wanted to book a trip to NYC with the daughters the week before the OP’s wedding. The OP refused to let them go, saying she needed them to help with the wedding preparations. She told the ex-husband that she can allow the girls to go to NYC for another week but not the week of her wedding.
The OP’s daughters were angry at the mother for refusing to let them go on the trip and for not inviting them to her wedding. They are currently not talking to their mother.
Related: She Refuses To Change Her Wedding Date After Her Sister-in-Law Asked Her To
Some people told the OP that she was wrong and she should have let the daughters go with their father to NYC.
The OP wants to know if she did wrong in refusing to let the kids go on a trip before the wedding and for wanting to have a child-free wedding.
The Masses Weigh In
Reddit users were quick to tell the OP that she was wrong for using her daughters to help prepare for the wedding they were not invited to. One user said, “It sounds like she wants them around for errand girls for the week, not to have the girls’ loving emotional support.”
Cheer the Kids Up
Some users pointed out that the ex-husband’s actions of booking the trip during the wedding week were to purposely cheer the kids up because they were distressed that they had not been invited to their mother’s wedding, “The ex specifically picked that week because the daughters likely called him in distress over not being invited. He’s trying to emotionally support them by giving them an out and an alternative happy memory.”
Another user supported this comment saying, “Yeah I’m thinking their dad scheduled the trip that week on purpose to cheer them up because they’re devastated their own mom doesn’t want them at the wedding.”
The Mother Is Deliberately Sabotaging Her Relationship With Her Kids
Someone noted that the mother’s actions were sabotaging the relationship she had with the daughters, “It’s a double whammy of toxicity. Not only is she excluding her children from her wedding but when their father thinks to do something nice for them when he probably knows they’d feel hurt to be left out of their mother’s wedding she’s completely against him getting any positive experiences with their daughters!”
“You want a child-free wedding, but have two of your own. You won’t even let your kids attend the service, but you’re denying them an enjoyable alternative. I DO hope you realize that by doing that you are setting up the remainder of your relationship, right?” someone else added.
The Kids Are Old Enough To Choose Who To Live With
Some people noted that the kids were old enough to choose who they would want to live with if the father decided to sue for custody.
One said, “It would not surprise me if the girls (old enough at 14 and 16) decide that they prefer to live with their father.”
Another added, “Your ex should go back to court for full custody because you clearly care more about yourself than your daughters. You seriously expect them to support you through a wedding they aren’t even invited to?”
Banning Your Own Children to Your Wedding Is Odd
“A child free wedding which includes banning your own children is odd to me. Especially if you’re going to keep them hostage during the week preceding,” someone said.
Another added, “since when does “child free wedding” means excluding the children of bride or groom?! They should be in your wedding party and fully included.”
If the mother did not want the kids to be included in her new life, she shouldn’t have asked them to participate in any way, according to one user, “You want your kids to help out and do work for the wedding and “celebrate” your new life, but they aren’t allowed to be a part of it, witness it, or do any of the fun parts of the wedding. If you are so adamant about them not being a part of the beginning of your new life, why should they have to watch you devote your week to it? It’s honestly just cruel.”
Do you think the OP is justified in not allowing her kids to go on this trip? She said that she paid them for the work done. Do you think her relationship with her kids will be the same after she does not invite them to her wedding and refuses to let them go on a trip with their father? What would you have done if you were in OP’s shoes?
The thread here inspired the post.
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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Originally posted 2023-04-24 09:20:42.
