A Reddit user shared a story about how she refused to go on a romantic getaway with her boyfriend after he invited his friend along for the trip without her knowledge or consent.
According to the OP the trip was supposed to be a romantic getaway to France because they both worked so hard and did not have enough time for vacations. The OP was excited that she would get to spend time with her boyfriend on this trip.
OP’s boyfriend told her last minute that he had invited one of his closest male friends for the trip because the friend had expressed his desire to visit France. He thought he was being kind in extending this invitation. He told her that his friend had already booked and paid the flight ticket for the trip.
The BF informed the OP that he was planning on changing their hotel room to one with two beds or having the friend sleeping on the couch in their room.
The OP told her BF that she was uncomfortable with the friend coming on the trip as it was meant to be a romantic getaway. The boyfriend said that his friend would not bother them as he would be doing his own thing.
The OP was not persuaded, and once the argument escalated, her boyfriend told her that he felt entitled to invite whoever he wanted because he had paid for most of the trip.
The OP felt betrayed and told her boyfriend that she would not go if the friend was tagging along. Her boyfriend called her manipulative and accused her of forcing him to choose between her and his friend.
The Masses Weigh In
Reddit users unanimously sided with the OP, with many citing that the BF’s idea of a romantic getaway was not what the OP thought it would be. One person bluntly said, “He can enjoy a romantic getaway with his friend— it sounds like that’s what he wants anyways. He doesn’t respect you. Keep that in mind going forward.”
Another person supported this comment saying, “Let him have his romantic weekend with his friend. That seems to be what he’s after anyways. While he’s gone, feel free to move on.”
no respect for privacy
Another person noted that the BF’s friend should have taken a hint and respected their privacy, “Like why isn’t he booking a separate room on a different floor far enough away from Op & her BF??? Like don’t crash on the couch! Get a clue and give them some privacy!”
Manipulative and Disrespectful
Several users thought that the boyfriend’s actions bordered on disrespect and manipulation. One said, “He’s already manipulating her into thinking it’s ok the bff is going. He’s already saying the bff gets to sleep in the same room. He’s already coercing her with the fact that he paid, so what he says goes.”
Another added, “The fact the BF waited until after his friend booked a ticket before telling OP… He knew exactly how she’d feel.”
One person was very detailed in explaining why he thought the boyfriend was being disrespectful, “OP the fact that he’s justifying his disrespect towards you with a “I’m entitled to do what I want not respecting you because I paid more” is a huge red flag. Is he always like that? Demanding things from you because “he paid for it”? Forcing his wishes ignoring your comfort? … but is time to think about this relationship and where is going…”
“He unilaterally changed the trip. You are entitled to decide you no longer wish to go. And I really hope he isn’t expecting you to be comfortable sharing a bed with him with someone else five feet away,” said another person.
A Romantic Getaway Is for Couples
Some wondered how the OP and her boyfriend would have a romantic getaway with the friend lingering about. One asked, “And how can you have a “romantic getaway” with someone in the same room?”
Another added, “It’s not exactly a romantic getaway if the friend is sleeping in the same room. He should have discussed with you the idea of the friend tagging along. In no scenario should the friend be sharing a room.”
“A romantic get away does NOT include a third wheel. And in the same room as you both? I would have a lot of questions as to why and sounds like he doesn’t even have one good reason for this change,” explained another user.
The Boyfriend May Have Other Ideas About the ‘Friendship’
One person questioned the boyfriend’s intention saying, “If it was intended to be a romantic getaway, then I don’t know how that can be achieved with a friend coming along. Unless he has other ideas about the “friendship.”
If You Decide To Go, Stay Away From Them
Several users advised the OP to go and enjoy France on her own. One said, “I just wanted to chime in here to say: If you get your own hotel room, get it far from them and don’t tell them where you’re staying. He would probably turn up thinking everything is fine and he saved his friend money on the hotel room.”
“But, if you are comfortable, go on the trip and just do YOUR own thing, leave the dudes to figure out their plans,” another quipped.
You Will Have Issues in Your Marriage
One person told the OP that if he did that behind her back, he will likely make decisions without asking her consent or telling her in the future, “Your boyfriend sounds controlling and manipulative. If he doesn’t respect you enough to talk to you before adding a third wheel to a romantic getaway, he’s probably not going to respect your thoughts or feelings when it comes to major decisions in life.”
Do you think the OP was wrong to refuse an all-paid trip because her boyfriend invited his friend along? Is there a better way this would have played out?
Here’s a link to the original post on Reddit.
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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Originally posted 2023-03-26 12:15:02.