One Reddit user posted in the “Am I the ***hole” group on Reddit, asking whether she was in the wrong for cutting short her vacation and going back home after her husband asked her to sleep on the floor.
Is It Just Friendship, or Is There Something More?
So, the original poster’s (OP)husband has a friend called Carl, who he considers his closest friend.
The first red flag that should have raised OP’s eyebrows is that her husband calls Carl his “nicotine” because, apparently, he misses him so much and wants to spend time together.
Now, you would think these are two people with different lives, but they work the same job, yet OP’s hubby still wants to do everything with Carl.
Carl’s wife passed on three months ago, and as the good friend he is, OP’s husband started spending more and more time with Carl. He tried his best to make him feel wanted and loved, as he even bought Carl food and clothes.
This could easily be dismissed as just helping a grieving friend through a difficult time. But reading further, you are left wondering, is something more going on between these two? Has the OP turned a blind eye to all that is happening between her husband and Carl?
Couple’s Vacation, but With a Surprise Guest
The OP and her husband planned a three-day vacation to another state, and she even made a hotel reservation for two. However, OP’s husband went behind her back and invited Carl. He kept this a secret until it was time to head out, and he had to go pick up Carl.
His excuse was that Carl was a recent widower who’s been wallowing in grief for so long, so he needed THIS vacation. The OP decided to let it go for the moment because this excuse seemingly convinced her.
However, it was not sitting right with her because they were on a tight budget, yet they were going to pay for Carl, who had not worked since his wife died and could not afford to pay for his room.
When she brought this up to her husband, he said the three would share a room. Again, she let it slide at the moment because they would be spending most of the day at the beach anyway.
Here is where the violation comes in: On the first night, OP was in bed with her husband when Carl returned. You would think Carl would automatically take the floor mattress, but no.
OP’s husband woke her up and asked her to take the floor mattress so that he could share the bed with Carl! His lame excuse was that Carl was the “guest” and couldn’t sleep on the floor.
The husband said he couldn’t take the floor and let Carl share the bed with OP. So, the only viable option in her husband’s eyes was for the OP to take the floor.
At this stage, I am still dumbfounded that Carl is not offering to take the floor, and the husband doesn’t see this as an option. All he does is pull the now lame “Carl is a widower” card.
Time for Hard Decisions
The OP took the bold step and decided to go back home. She asked Carl to step out so she could dress. As she was leaving, all Carl could muster was, “You are making a non-issue an issue.”
And as you would have expected, when Carl and OP’s husband returned, all the husband wanted to address was how the OP spoiled everything for Carl.
Why is the husband not even apologetic for inviting Carl behind his wife’s back?
Here is what Redditors had to say:
“NTA. Uh.. no shade here. I think your husband might be into men, specifically Carl. I’m not going to throw my wife to the curb for a friend. Compassion and empathy are one thing, but this is just plain insanity. Might want to get some therapy or have some hard convos.”
Many Reddit users agreed it was time for her to initiate hard conversations. Many others said it was time to get a divorce lawyer before doing anything else.
Another said, “I would point blank be asking my husband if he’s into Carl. At no time is it appropriate to invite someone on a couple’s vacation without even discussing it with your partner and then wake that partner up and tell them to sleep on the floor? What the f**k. NTA”
“This was my first thought, too: Are you sure your husband is straight? Seems like OP is a third wheel in her own marriage... Seems like hubby is more into Carl than his wife.”
Another replied to this comment, saying he won’t be surprised if the two had been having an affair even when Carl’s wife was alive, but they are just getting the mask off now that Carl is free.
What should the OP do? Is it worth it for her to stay in her marriage? Is she wrong for leaving?
Read the original post here.
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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Originally posted 2023-03-30 09:56:28.