A bridesmaid shared a story about how one of her friends was forcing her to attend her wedding even when she was clear that she could not afford the ridiculous expenses the bride imposed on them.
According to the OP, one of her closest friends (Louise) is getting married in a few months’ time. Louise asked the OP to be her bridesmaid, and the OP agreed. The thing is, the OP is also getting married several months later, and she asked Louise to be a bridesmaid for her (Ops) wedding – sort of reciprocating the favor. Louise’s wedding is in August 2023, and OP’s wedding is in July 2024. Louise agreed to be a bridesmaid.
Pay For Everything
Here’s where the problem lies… Louise wants the OP to cater for ALL expenses of attending her (Louise’s) wedding. According to the OP, she does not expect the bridesmaid to pay for anything other than their drinks and special make-up.
On the other hand, Louise expects the OP to pay a minimum of 300 pounds for a weekend in the city two weeks before the wedding, gift her money for her upcoming birthday, buy a wedding present, pay for a night in a hotel the day before the wedding, and pay for her own food and drinks on the wedding day.
Cannot Handle the Cost
The total amount is about 1000 pounds, which does not include the cost for OP’s partner (who was also invited to the stag do).
The OP talked to Louise and told her that she was not financially stable to handle such an expense. Louise was not bothered and told the OP that she needed her there no matter what, but she was not willing to chip in to cover some of the OP’s expenses. OP offered multiple compromises to help her cover her expense and attend the wedding, but Louise would not hear any of it.
The Masses Weigh In
Many Reddit users felt that the OP was being exploited by her friend. Many people said that if Louise wanted the OP to attend her wedding that badly, she should cover the expenses. One said, “If she wants you there ‘no matter what’ sounds like she’ll have to cover the £1000! You’ve told her it’s not financially viable for you. If she’s not willing to cover these expenses or come to an agreement on what you can afford, I’d politely be stepping down. Will make things a little awkward when it comes to your wedding though…”
Other People’s Time and Money
Another user argued that Louise wanted an extravagant wedding at the cost of others’ time and money, “She sounds like she wants a lavish wedding at the cost of others’ time and money. I would suggest that this behavior is going to get worse as the date gets nearer, and in your place, I would respectfully bow out due to affordability, although do you think she would be a nightmare as your bridesmaid if you aren’t there for her?”
Many people urged the OP to say NO if she felt too pressurized by Louise. One said, “OP, grow a backbone and say no. No is a sentence. You can’t afford this with your wedding coming up and it sounds like the bride is a bridezilla. Chances are she won’t be your friend after she leaves you high and dry in debt.”
Another added, “Wait, wait, wait – she expects you to pay for your food and drinks at her wedding reception? That’s crazy. Drop out now. She’s taking all of you for a ride and trying to save herself the expense of her own wedding, wanting her guests to pay for it for her. She doesn’t want bridesmaids. She wants servants who have to pay her for the privilege of being her servants.”
“Tell her something she’s not used to hearing. No. No, you are being ridiculous and entitled and I have no intention of going broke over your wedding if you want to be clear,” added another person.
Others argued that Louis does not have the right to spend OP’s money. One person said, “Absolutely under no circumstances would I even consider paying that kind of money essentially doing a friend a favor. It’s laughable. Friends don’t put their friends in impossible positions no matter how ‘special’ they want the day to be. Do people understand what friendship is?”
This was supported by another user who added, “If she wants you there “no matter what”, then she better be covering that outrageous expense. She does not have the right to spend your money.”
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This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved