A Reddit user shared a story about how her mother-in-law copied a tattoo that was meant to be an exclusive gift in support of their sick child.
The Baby
The OP and her husband bore a girl 15 months ago. She was diagnosed with DS at four months, but they still decided to keep her, something that didn’t go down well with their parents. From the onset, the parents told them that they were making a mistake in bearing a child with DS knowingly.
They love the child dearly, and she has been the center of their attention since then. Their parents eventually accepted the child, but they still issued petty remarks about the child’s inability to hit her milestones. For instance, Mary (the child) does not walk yet at 15 months.
Recently the OP went to a restaurant with her MIL and brother-in-law for her husband’s 40th birthday. The mother-in-law asked the OP what she got for her son, and the OP told her they were planning on getting matching triple chevron arrow tattoos as a tribute to DS and as a show of support for their child.
Several days later, the MIL face-timed the OP’s husband with exciting news. She had received a tattoo that was identical to what the OP and her husband had planned on getting. She bragged about it on social media, saying how she had found a wonderful idea for supporting her granddaughter.
The OP and her husband were furious since it wasn’t the first time the MIL stole their idea. The husband blocked his mother on social media. They are now considering getting a different tattoo or altering what they had initially planned. According to them, the matching tattoos were exclusively meant for the OP and her husband, not the MIL.
The OP turned to Reddit to hear what people had to say about the situation.
Comments were varied, but most users sided with the OP.
Stop Sharing Ideas
Several users urged the OP to stop sharing ideas with her mother-in-law. One said, “now you know to stop sharing things with her. I’m surprised she doesn’t have a wedding ring to match yours.”
Get Something Custom
Since the MIL had spoiled the fun, some users urged the couple to get custom tattoos that still showed support for DS. One user said, “See a tattoo artist to design something custom using the chevrons and the sun. Perhaps include the date of her birth or something. If it’s custom it will be hard for her to amend her own to match. And perhaps get it in a different spot, or the opposite forearm than hers.”
“I just saw at least 10 variations of the DS arrows on Google images. Change the design to make it yours again,” someone else commented.
She Should Have Asked the Couple First
One person noted that although the MIL’s sentiments were okay, she should have asked the couple first to prevent from looking narcissistic, “if she had asked can she get one too after you guys get yours as a show of support then I think you’d be wrong for refusing that. But the way she went about it is all wrong, seems incredibly narcissistic, all about her and the way others see her rather than actual support.”
“The idea of the tattoo was something to bond you and your SO over the shared love of your child. MIL could have at least communicated first and asked to join in support,” commented another user.
Another added, “That’s such a strange thing for MIL to do without talking to you or your husband first. I really cannot comprehend why she would do that. It is relatively harmless though. It’s just weird as hell.”
Your Mother-in-Law Is Fake
According to one user, since the MIL did not accept the child at first, her actions now can be interpreted as being fake, “Considering the families– and therefore presumably the in-laws– were originally wanting you to terminate the pregnancy, and continue making rude remarks about your daughter, I would be irritated that your MIL decided to not only out of nowhere get a tattoo to “show her support”, but also get involved in a couple’s tattoo. Maybe I’m just petty, but I’d think that your MIL is being fake (especially due to all the social media stuff) and invasive.”
Discuss Boundaries
Several users pointed out that the couple needed to discuss boundaries with their MIL. One person said, “You and your partner need to discuss boundaries with her. I don’t think she’s doing it intentionally though, it kind of just sounds like an over-enthusiastic grandmother who doesn’t think about how her actions will affect others.”
Another supported this saying, “It’s understandable that you and Aidan are upset about your MIL getting the same tattoo without asking for your permission or considering your feelings. It’s important to set boundaries with her and discuss how her actions have impacted you.”
The Couple Is To Blame
One person did not side with the OP. He/she told the OP that they were in the wrong because they knew the MIL’s behavior but still told her anyway, “You know exactly who/how she is, and you told her anyway.”
What do you think about the story? Do you think the OP was wrong in being upset about her Mother in law getting a tattoo that was originally their idea?
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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Originally posted 2023-04-04 05:30:56.
