A new mother shared her frustrating story about telling her husband she must prioritize her sleep over his emotional needs. Despite her fatigue and exhaustion from caring for her new baby, he wants her to pay more attention to him.
The original poster (OP) explained that she is a new mom on maternity leave and that her baby is four months old. Her partner is on a week-long vacation with his friends.
OP said her partner would call periodically to check in and update her on what he’s been doing, and OP said that because of the baby, she usually doesn’t answer the phone and will just call him back later.
OP said she puts the baby to sleep and wakes her up at the same time every day. OP said the baby is great at sleeping through the night, but she was teething, so the schedule has been more interrupted than usual. OP said she is exhausted as a result.
Partner Not Listening
She said her partner knows all of this, but two days in a row, he called her to tell her he was eating breakfast or packing his bags.
Yesterday, OP asked if he could message her instead of calling before 10:30 a.m. because she needed sleep. At first, he said he didn’t care, that he missed OP and missed the sound of her voice, but then he ended up apologizing. The next day, he called her again, and she pointed out that she had JUST asked him not to. He said that he “saw that she was online” and got excited, so he called.
OP repeated that she didn’t want him to call in the morning and then told him she was hurt because it didn’t seem like he was prioritizing her well-being.
She told him that when she gets excited, she doesn’t “black out and lose control of her actions” and that being excited isn’t an excuse to ignore other people’s feelings/situations. OP said she tried not to be too harsh, but based on his reaction, she wonders if she could have said it more kindly.
What About Me?
He told her that he is homesick and misses her a lot, and OP said she understands feeling melancholy in the morning. He said he isn’t getting much sleep lately because of his and his friends’ planned activities.
OP said she has let a few sarcastic comments slip, such as “oh, poor you” or “that must be so hard.”
Sleep Is Highly Valued
OP explained that sleep was highly valued in her house, so for her, it’s a no-brainer, but she said that her partner seems to feel like his emotional needs should come first.
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This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.