Was He Justified in Attending His Aunt’s Funeral While His Wife Lay Sick at Home or Is She Gaslighting Him?



A Reddit user posted anonymously about how he left his wife sick at home to attend his aunt’s funeral and how his wife was furious about this when he came back.

She Declined His Offer To Stay and Look After Her

OP’s aunt had died, and the funeral was set for Friday afternoon in a location 3 hours drive from OP’s home. All his family members were attending, including his parents, whom he hadn’t seen for a year.

OP’s wife fell sick a couple of days before the funeral date. She declined to go to the hospital, terming the sickness as manageable and not serious. She refused when the OP suggested he skip the funeral to stay with her.

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OP left for the funeral and returned home on Saturday afternoon to a furious wife. He could not have driven at night since he was exhausted and intoxicated. His wife was upset that he had left her alone to attend the funeral.

She revealed that she never wanted him to go. Despite telling him the opposite, she thought he would figure out that she wanted him to stay.

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The OP wants to know whether he was wrong to leave her alone sick at home and attend the funeral.

The Masses Weigh In

The Reddit community unanimously sided with the OP and blamed the wife for her mind games and tactics.

Several users pointed out OP’s wife was gaslighting him, “She’s gaslighting you. She needs to learn how to communicate like an adult.”

“She’s being manipulative and passive aggressive. If she wanted you to stay, she should have told you that,” noted another user.

She Should Have Seen a Doctor Is She Was Sick

One person noted that the wife should have seen a doctor if she felt sick, “Your wife is a grown woman and if she thought she needed help she should have gone to the doctor and got treated.” While another said that she was probably faking the illness, “If she refused to see a doctor then she wasn’t actually that sick.”

Mind Games

Many users argued that OP’s wife was playing mind games to make the OP feel guilty for doing exactly what she told him to do, “You literally offered to stay and she said no, so why turn the tables and play childish games?”

Another urged the OP to work on their communication saying, “You offer, she says yes, you stay and take care of her and everyone is happy. Sounds like you two need to work on your communication habits.”

“A marriage isn’t the place for mind games. She could’ve communicated with you, instead she decided to play games,” said another user.

The Wife Was Not Deathly Ill

Others noted that the OP may have been wrong if his wife was deathly ill. One user said, “If your wife was deathly ill then other considerations come to light but this was not the case.”

Another user supported this statement saying, “Like others have said if it was a surgery or the birth of a child or a major medical issue that might be one thing. But it’s a relatively minor sickness of a few days that she hasn’t even gone to the doctor about.”

The OP Should Have Stayed Sober

Despite the overwhelming support for OP’s action, one user quickly pointed out that the OP should have been more considerate.

Since he knew he had left a sick wife at home, he wouldn’t have taken alcohol so that he could be alert in case of emergency, “He didn’t have to drink to enjoy spending time with his parents, and staying sober would have left him the opportunity to safely hurry home if things went south and his wife had called from the ER.”


Do you think the OP was justified in attending his aunt’s funeral while his wife lay sick at home, according to what you’ve read? What would you have done differently if you were in his shoes?

Read the original post here.

This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.

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Originally posted 2023-03-31 09:01:40.